Right now I could write about how great 2016 is going to be. The problem is, I don’t feel like it’s going to be fantastic at the moment. I feel like it’s going to be basic and boring. I see myself working, paying bills and simply existing. Woot. Hooray. All the things I was made for. Not. Please pick up on my sarcasm here.
I’m rediscovering that keeping my feet in some kind of creative project keeps me motived. It makes me happy. When I don’t have anything going on, like in this phase of life, I get depressed.
If you asked me about the New Year a week ago my answer would’ve been different. I would of stood on top of a table and shouted, “Hurry up 2016 and get here! I’m ready! I’m ready!” Then started running about like Sponge Bob in Bikini Bottoms like a manic flipping Krabby Patties all over the place. I would have told you how I’m going to finally pay off my student loans! And that I’m going to seek Jesus as He guides the path He has planned for me and love every second of it!!!
Today, I feel completely out of control of life and like I have nothing going for me. I laid in bed and cried because I feel worthless.
These things are not true, I know this. I don’t say these things for you to feel bad or try to help me, but to hopefully recognize you’re not the only person out there that has bad days.
We all have ups and downs.
On rough days I doubt and over analyze everything. I’m hard on myself and sometimes say/do things I don’t mean that will sabotage relationships or creative investments. I’ve made messes in the past because of these high emotion decisions and it’s not worth it.
During the bad days try to remember that not every day will feel that way. Please give yourself space for emotions that need released. Then give yourself grace and know at the pit of your soul and things will look up. It’s okay to have a bad day every once in a while.